Wednesday, 13 May 2009

New adventures

It seems an age since I lasted posted. I have been busy since returning to Canterbury, after my hols in Glencoe. That was just what the Doctor order. A break in the country, peace, tranquility, good friends, good food and lots of space. They all make for a relaxing time when you can take stock of where you are and what your next plans are.
This blog has no pictures I'm afraid, as I really want to tell you a bit about myself and why I am doing what I'm doing. So here goes.
I am a qualified nurse and further education teacher who began to wake up back in 2002. I started to get out and about, camping during term breaks, visiting sites of antiquity like Stonehenge. These tantalised my senses and I began to seek out books around the subject of herbs, megaliths, ecopsychology and the like. This gave me a restless feeling inside, as though something was missing. We began to go camping at weekends as well as holidays, so increasing our time spent in nature. I worked hard, weekdays only, but 8.30 - 5.00 everyday. So to be able to get away from it all was a release in itself. I felt more alive when away from the humdrum of existence, as that is what life for me had become.
I had personal problems, as do most people, which had been shelved somewhere in my head. I had not buried them completely, so they would remind me of their presence every so often and try and entice me to deal with them. A bit like a school bully whose egging for a fight to prove they are stronger than you. I just drowned them in alcohol, not too much to be a problem but enough to stop their wittering. At least when I went camping I didn't need the alcohol. This was neutral territory, where I was living and gaining a bit of freedom to move forward. However, on return to the other world, I would quickly slip back in the fold and behave like a robot.
My son. Troy was coming up for school, and we had wanted a quiet little school where he would not get lost in a crowd. I placed the requests for schools, hoping against odds we would get the right one. I would then be able to carry on in my management role at the local College, with him in pre and after school clubs. What a life I had mapped out for him!
Well we didn't get our choice of school, I was devastated as was he. What would happen now, I had not much faith in the school system, as my daughter had quiet a hard time at school. She is fiercely independent and out spoken, challenging information to understand and clarify what is being taught. We hit many a problem as she traversed through her time in education establishments. I could foresee the same with Troy. At 4 he was already knowledgeable about places we had been, and programmes he watched on the TV. So I had to seriously think about what course of action I was going to take.
One weekend when Troy and I were camping down behind Longleat, I asked him if he would like to do this for ever. 'What camp?' He asked. 'Well sort of yes, in a motor home rather than a tent though'. I replied. 'Wow, like the Wild Thornberrys'. he exclaimed. That was a TV show for kids about a travelling family, both parents were wildlife reporters and Filmer's living in exotic places. I could go with that, anywhere is going to be exotic to a kid that's not where you live right now. So that was that. I had made my decision, it seemed so simple give everything up and move on completely. Get out there in the world and discover what you have forgotten.
It was June and I would leave work in July, so I had to move on my ideas and make them happen. Everything fell into place like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. I sold my house to a cash buyer, bought a motor home, downgraded my belongings and set off on the sea of uncertainty.
Now 5 years later we are still here doing the same thing, but not. Yes we are still travelling, but each day brings something different, even if we are in the same place. Not everything is exciting for everyone, so I try to pick the best bits to share. I have not really shared my personal experiences, but hope to get them down in book form at some point, when I have a spare moment and the right place to write. Being in built up areas can sometimes stem the creative juices. Making them stagnant and murky. I am still trying to finish off my first book, which has been in the process since 2006. So you can see I can be a slow mover at times. I have been unsure whether anyone would be interested, and when I have tried to find a publisher for it have been batted off here there and everywhere. I also felt I didn't want everyone to suddenly know me. I am ashamed of this last feeling, as I was feeling very materialistic at the time and my ego had got the better of me. I am now ready to bear it all to anyone who has the inclination to traverse the pages and experience what we did in our first year on the road. However, there is one small snag. I still haven't finished editing it, so not much chance it will be out there before next year now. Again I am ashamed at this as my brother spent time proof reading it for me, and all I have done is put it in a cupboard out of sight. I know these feelings have to be addressed, and I need a good talking to for wasting so much time feeling sorry for my lot.
Well Glencoe did that for me. The mountains, streams and woods rekindled the longing I have to be in the open space, but it also reminded me that there are things I need to do in order to get back there. The book is one of those things, as is working with the tools I have to overcome any thing that crosses my path. I always say 'I am open and deal with things as they arise'. Well I ain't' done that this time, I've whinged and whined like a little kid, thrown my toys out of the pram and then had tantrums. All because I have been in a place I didn't want to be, well I needed to be here to learn that no matter what the problem is we have to face them straight on and tackle them. Otherwise they grow horns and fight back.
So since my return I have been busy getting out and about in between teaching. I have also given a talk on living more in tune with nature, and sold some room sprays which I have developed. I have a more positive outlook on where I am and why I am here and am making the most of it. We will be moving on after my contracts end, so I want to get the best out of everything before we go.
In the meantime, I shall continue to update you on any good adventures we encounter.
Stay young at heart, and wise of mind, live to your full potential and be happy.

4 comments:

Rima said...

Bravo Tracy for your braveness... nature is always the best catalyst :)
We wish you both happy days of new adventures and look forward to parking alongside you one day soon :)
Hugs xxx us 2

I LOVE FRANCE said...

Hi there
Ijust found your blog and i am looking forward to readimg more.
Your a brave girl to do what you have done and i hope you enjoy every moment of it.
Keep up the blogging
Andrea

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